"Multi-reasonably talented" "The most prolific, undiscovered, ok talent in the history of Brisbane". I've been knocking on the door of production houses, TV stations and film bodies for 35 years plus without anyone taking much interest. I gave stand up a go and although I did well at it I could see in Brisbane it was a road to nowhere. 15 film scripts 3 sitcom pilots plus episodes. One 6 part mocumentary series Hundreds of comedy sketches Hours of stand up material.
Mike Shanahan and Myself are guests on the Briz 31Tonight Show on August 3.
We are there to talk about IT'S BRISBANE TONIGHT WOW.
Hope we do a good job and amuse many people.
I've met the host Scott Black a few times. he seems to have had an instant hatred to me.
I wonder what he'll think when I hand him a list of questions to ask us.
Films Which have a reason to annoy me.
These films are a few years old I realized and all ( so far ) are remakes. The thing that most annoys me about these films, especially the TV remakes is that they have ditched the central theme of the show. It's as if the new writers never watched the show which they were remaking , especially - all of them.
THE FLINTSTONES with Rosie O'Donnell playing Betty Rubble. Betty was a cartoon babe. Rosie is a pig. The second one had Jane Krakowski as Betty. Great choice.
BEWITCHED movie. A stinker of a movie with no resemblence to the TV show but Nicole Kidman was the only choice for Samantha, but Jim Carrey looks very much like the Dicks, York and Sergeant and they got Will Ferrell. Nora Efron wrote the terrible script and said she'd never seen the original TV series. Well that was fucking obvious. Nice of her to accept the job and the pay cheque.
THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES movie. The TV show was so funny and yet this film deteriorated to lame sex jokes which the show was not about.
GET SMART
Max as a nerd. Why bother? And the control headquarters is high tech as opposed to the hilarious low tech headquarters of the original.
PSYCHO . Rita Wilson playing the Plain Jane in the PSYCHO remake. The character in the original film was deliberately plain, so that the rich guy would pay all his attention to gorgeous Janet Leigh. Rita Wilson is no Plain Jane and her flirting with the rich guy would be a reasonable come on. Hitchcock got his Plain Jane niece to play the part in the original.
There's plenty more.
THE SHANAHAN AND STEEL ( SKETCH) SHOW
A few years ago I went through that ridiculous and ultimately humiliating process of sending a script to ABC TV as a possible series.
The verdict was not NO.
I didn't send them a an outline or a sketch. I sent them the whole series. Six half hour episodes with seven sketches of varying length per episode.
I asked them why and one of the reasons was who's my demographic. I'm sure I had put this in submission. From 7 to 70 that's my demographic, there's but in reality it's adult comedy for kids. In the tradition of Monty Python, The Two Ronnies, Benny Hill and the Goodies sketch comedy is adult comedy for kids.
I said to Mike, they have to take notice , there's 42 major fucking sketches and it's mainly off the wall stuff. There were no TV show send ups.
Anyway this is one the few times I got angry because sketch comedy is just about dead and especially in Australia because they have too many writers and too many performers. It's got no fucking pulse that's for sure.
CHOPPER READ and me.
So Chopper read was performing at the Runcorn Tavern and my comedian mates mark Arabin Motormouth and Mike Shanahan were his supports so they asked me if I wanted to come along.
Of course.
The first strange thing that happened was when we got there they were saying that we had to catch up with Chopper's manager a guy called Thommo. "You know Thommo Mick, Thommo".
So I'm thinking how the fuck would I know Chopper read's manager Thommo. So anyway Thommo appears and I go "Gooday Thommo, how are you going"? You see I see Thommo every day, he works no more than 50 metres from me. He runs a second hand shop in the Gabba. Crazy. I run a legit massage shop in the Gabba which is even more crazy.
So the next thing is we are going to the Green Room or as I would call it a room out the back. The boys the tell me that I have to tell Chopper a joke to make him laugh as no one can ever make him laugh. I thought "Thanks blokes".
But you know that's what I' about. So I went through the files of jokes which I have in my head and was doing a profile of Chopper at the same time. Underworld figure dealing with all types .
So the joke I did was two Muslims arriving in Australia. Yep basically a racist joke but then not.
So I do the joke and Chopper laughs repeating the punchline. The boys are going that's fucking amazing.
Suddenly everyone disappears and there were like ten people in the room and I'm left with Chopper.
So I'm thinking what can I say to this guy and I went No. No No. and then I came out with this.
So Chopper, what do you do when you're not doing this?
And he says I'm a painter and he talked to me about his art for a few minutes until some criminal came in to talk crime. (Again)
The next thing is I went outside and I was looking for Thommo for some reason, Thommo was not only his manager but his driver. So in amongst all the noise I've said something like "I'm looking for Chopper's driver" But they heard "I'm Chopper's driver'. and for the rest of the night every time I approached a door security would go "Out of the way people Chopper's driver's coming through".
I'm thinking this is fucking cool.
( by the way as an aside , I'm watching the show and thought you'd want be a an undercover cop here because every question and comment from the audience is from a criminal wanting discuss crimes they've been in).
So a few weeks later I my mates come and see me . Chopper is touring outback Queensland for a few weeks and would be happy if I was one of the support acts. Like the Sit Down Comedy Club never paid me because I never demanded or asked for any money but these guys have said to Chopper I'd kill and I'd be getting big money for three weeks.
My boss at the time would never give the time off and was looking for anything to get rid of me and everyone else for that matter. Serious issues this person. She got rid of me 3 months later over a concocted bullshit story anyway. (As she did with others)
So not going on the Chopper tour is one of my regrets.
THE CLONE
There have been very few films about clones or cloning.It's such a great topic that it staggers me. However I haven't had enough interest at the right time to write a clone script.
My clone script would be pretty simple. There are a number of scenarios. they all involve a mad doctor.
1 A bad guy who is having an affair goes to his doctor. A mad doctor and they discuss personal problems. The doctor says his answer is t o have himself cloned, and the clone can live with his wife and he can then run off with the other woman.
2 A good guy with a terrible bitch for a wife goes to his doctor , a mad doctor who suggests cloning so he can go away and the poor clone gets stuck with the bitch of a wife.
3 A woman goes to her doctor , once again a mad doctor and after hearing her problems he suggests cloning. The woman runs off to paradise and the husband is left with the clone who is a terrible bitch.
Bill Hunter
Sad the passing of Bill, and I was great fan like most people. My first memories of him were in HOMICIDE and whenever he appeared I thought this bloke is the murderer, but that's just a memory he may have not always been. But he was rarely a good guy.
Between Homicide, Divvy 4 and Matlock Police I think he may have multiple life sentences.
Personally, it would have been great if he had a "Columbo" type television role that we could all remember him for because in most cases we remember his supporting roles except for NEWSFRONT.
My personal favourite was as Angus McDonald in BLUE MURDER and a guest role as a character called 'Tiny' in PHOENIX but these are also my two favourite Australian shows ever. ( With JANUS)
It's great that he is being remembered so fondly but for me I feel the Australian Film industry would have been much better served if he was the lead role in more Australian films.
IT"S BRISBANE TONITE WOW! Finished product
We have finally got to see the finished product of IT'S BRISBANE TONIGHT WOW. Scot has even changed the title from TONITE to TONIGHT because that was correct English.
The positives I thought are that Scot didn't do anything wrong with his directing. I pointed out that he could have done a certain scene a certain way and he said that I should have told him. I said "You're the director".
The cast however were really good,. I thought this collection of (wannabee) actors gave everything to their parts. One may have over acted a bit but everyone else just nailed it and I am really proud of what they did.
As for me, I found it painful watching myself and that's about it.
The film however stinks and can never be released. The sound is terrible. It's unwatchable.
END OF STORY
1001 Films To See Before You Die
I just bought this book written a few years ago. It's a great book but to me more notable for it omissions than some of the entries.
Not enough British films of the sixties. The Pumpkin Eater, Billy Liar, Look Back In Anger, This Sporting Life, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold are missing and many others from this era. lie How can you leave any of these out.
The two great Rock Hudson and Doris day comedies Pillow talk and Lover Come Back didn't make the list. Pillow talk is the only comedy aside from Annie hall to win a best screenplay oscar.
There are some unusually ordinary films of the past twenty years there like The English Patient which Bruce Beresford described as like a three hour soap advertisement. As well as When Harry Met Sally, Top Gun and Philadelphia made it.
Paul Newman made it for Hombre but not for The Verdict. (Seriously)
Among my other favourite films which are missing are The World According to Garp, Woody Allen's Bananas, two William Holden films Stalag 17 and Picnic, and from Australia no Bruce Beresford films Really. Moneymovers, The Club, Don's Party. These are films people should see.
Yes I'm prolific. Of course prolific doesn't mean great or even good it could mean shit house.
"And here is Mick Steel the most prolific shithouse comedy writer of the 21st century.
Sounds Ok.
One of my favourite lines in SEINFELD is when Kramer describes Frank Costanza ( George's Father) as "Prolific'. "He's prolific" yep a prolific idiot and maybe that's what I am.
Anyway comedy writing is what I do and I continue to do it because there's nothing else I can do. So I started off writing sketches, the the comedy monologues then TV scripts then the film scripts and it just steamrolls. Being unpaid and basically uncredited well that's my curse.
Woody Allen, Neil Simon, John Hughes all wrote about one script a year from the age of 35. I am on a par with them. Not making a comparison in ability, but I have a variety of ideas.
400 comedy sketches of 15 seconds to 7 minutes which puts me in the Benny Hill bracket of prolific.
SITCOM I've created 3 pilots and written episodes
STAND UP 3-4 hours of stand up material. Performed about 90 minutes of that.
I take an element of pride in this, it's like saying I played football, cricket tennis and golf all of which I did at the lowest level.
Of course I have no other talents, I can't fix a leaking tap.
First of all, my internet is down so I'm doing stuff at an internet cafe. Mainly internet stuff of course and some cafe stuff too.
The Shanahan and Steel radio show is back on SWITCH 1197. After some early teething problems. No floss, to go with the no fridge the no toilet no running water we got off to a shaky start.
SWITCH used to have it's studio in the city, but it\s new location at Indooroopilly is more scary.
The first show passable the second show stunk to low heaven, yes the stench never left us, if we were in low heaven, it was more like high hell, but I do diverse. Anyway we're back, not as good as ever.
The trouble with radio humour it's all hang shit humour and very little else. fill So the humour leaves me cold.
I have an idea for a radio show that dares to be different. I say that to make it could interesting or at least give that impression.
This is the concept.
SHANAHAN AND STEEL AT HOME
In this we come on and just say normal things and out of the blue I may say Hey Mike , go over the dd rack and put on song for me mate", and then a song comes on.
he says "I'm putting on Katy Perry's I kissed a girl.
And I go great mate.
INSPIRATIONAL STUFF.
Woody Allen.
In the history of modern comedy Woody Allen stands apart. He is to comedy what Elvis and The Beatles are to music. Seriously. Because Woody changed things.
Woody went from being a TV sketch writer to becoming a stand up comedian.
He was a writer first and thus was performing his own material amongst a group of comedians telling jokes or performing jokes written by other people.
Sure Lenny Bruce came first but he didn't have the influence, Notoriety yes , but he wasn't mainstream and didn't live long enough to become the influence which Woody has become.
Woody is a great influence to me, mainly because he is hilarious and his scripts and stories are so well crafted.
But before dismissing him, it's worth noting that Woody Allen is who he is because he is one of the absolute masters of modern comedy.
GET SMART
My most biased claim of comedy writing is this. Those who are influenced by GET SMART have a greater capacity for comedy writing than those who are not. Still the greatest show to watch in regards to the craft of comedy writing. Why? Because Max kills people.
MAD MAGAZINE
From the age of 11 to 19 I bought very edition of MAD and still have them. ( Except I missed the JAWS 1975 edition) That was it's golden era and I am still influenced by Siegel, Hart, Jacobs, Aragones, Berg and Don Martin. Another form of comedy genius was MAD magazine.
Favourite comedy people.
Graham Kennedy, Woody Allen, Barry Humphries, Garry Shandling, Louis CK Don Adams. Peter Cook . Bob Hope who extremely important. The Monty Python Team. Steve Martin The Zucker Movies and although I used to see Mel Brooks films on the the Thurday night which they were released he's now a bit stale for me.
With the advent of IT'S BRISBANE TONIGHT WOW there is the possibility of becoming a success. As an undiscovered talent who writes in almost every genre I have not been a success. In fact I have been as the academics would describe, a failure. But let's quantify this, the one thing I have not failed at is at been a failure, no sir, in fact the one thing I have been very successful at is failing, I may not be a success at succeeding but at failing I am a success. And I can sleep with that.well sometimes I can't sleep with it because sometimes I fail to sleep. Because for a long time people called me a failure as if it was a negative thing, but now , I have reached the maturity and the positivity to realize that my greatest success in life is my ability to fail.
Having bouts depression all my adult has helped me deal with failure.
ROBIN WILLIAMS LIVE
My sister Robyn was generous enough to buy me two tickets to see Robin Williams for my birthday.
It wasn't on my agenda because there's no way I could afford to see him but it was much appreciated. I took film maker mate Scot McPhie with me and after the show shook the hand and had a few seconds with Robin. We also had very good seats.
I view Robin as a stand up comedian, an improv comedian, a sitcom comedian, film actor and a great guest on talk shows.
Here's the thing. Prior to my sister buying the tickets I really had no interest in seeing him LIVE but I'm glad I went for many reasons.
1 He was great and it was a great show.
2 I met him for Christ's sake.
3 And this is the doozy. When I watch the great stand ups I have this thing in which I dissect everything they say, how they say it and how they form the routines to make the one hour of 3 hour show. With everyone I've seen there comes a point usually after about 45 minutes where I go "So what's he's doing or that's how he does it'. At about this point of the show I said to Scot "I've got no idea what he's doing, everything is just fucking random" but about 15 minutes later something happened. Robin forgot his lines or where he was. He walked over to the side of the stage and there was a woman with a computer. He said to her "Where am I?" or words to that effect and she told him where he what piece he was doing.
He looked at the audience and shrugged. The audience didn't mind nor care.
That made sense to me. He just does bits that are in an order, but an order that is planned and scripted in a way as not to look planned and scripted or in any order. From that point on I just really enjoyed the show.
As a stand up I don't see him in the league of Louis C.K or Garry Shandling he's more of a showman comedian doing crazy songs and voices in the mix.
For many years my favourite film was THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP. Considered a mess at the time it's now regarded as a genuine classic. I consider Robin to be a great actor in the company of Jack Nicholson and Brando even. He's hardly done a real comedy film except THE BIRDCAGE which is one the very best comedy films of all time. However his PATCH ADAMS type feel good , sentimental films make me sick.
*footnote. Since his death I cannot watch The World According To Garp.
As a kid I wanted to be a comedy writer. Basically as a kid born in 1960 I was brought up on sketch comedy and TV situation comedies. TV situation comedies include all the comedies we watched between 4pm and 6pm every afternoon.
I sometimes think I'm a phony calling myself a comedy writer , but I've performed my own material live, I've now written a film which is nearly ready for release, so it's time to accept that I am a comedy writer and always have been.
The most important thing is I want to write good comedy and I do write good comedy. But what does that mean? I don't write tit and bum and arse crack comedy and have a proliferation of insult jokes. But then we all do to some degree, but if you do that stuff you do it with a twist.
To use what we know as examples.
Good Bad
Film American Pie American Pie 2
Sitcom Modern Family Married with Children
Sketch Alas Smith and Jones Hale and Pace
Stand Up Dry Wet
There's great comedy and awful comedy. No one goes around saying I write awful comedy but plenty do it and some get paid great money for it.
It's unlikely that that Talbot Rothwell who wrote 19 Carry On movies could write a Will Ferrell style movie. But to be more precise Woody Allen ( Jewish), Neil Simon (Jewish) and Mel Brooks (Jewish) all started their careers on Sid Caesars CAESAR'S HOUR and all have very individual styles of writing. If all three were interviewed or approached about their writing they would be all quick to point out the subtleties and differences in their style.The reality is all three attract very different audiences.
My preference is for Woody Allen but Mel Brooks and Neil Simon movies have a far more wider appeal. Mel Brooks appeals to the younger because he mainly does spoofs and Neil Simon writes romantic comedies.( with some very unappealing protagonists at times). This means his lesser efforts really flop and he doesn't have the strong core following of Woody or Mel. Of course his successes usually are big.
But all have one thing in common and that is they are mainstream. A Woody Allen film has a low budget by American standards of 20 million dollars. So to me he is still mainstream.
The problem with all of these great writers is that after 10-15 films there eventually becomes a sameness in their style.
I'm lucky that I've been in a position to watch and to most of all chosen to learn many styles so I have my own style but if I want to write something in a Monty Python, Zucker or Jewish I can put myself in the mind set and the planning to do it.
Anyway, I like to see myself as starting in the middle ground with an idea and then taking it to extremes if I choose. But I have chosen what my middle ground is and that's an interesting place.
There's many arguments about high brow low brow etc but this is my best example. It's from Woody Allen's LOVE AND DEATH. So many other writers would have just gone for a more obvious punchline.
Girl: I'm half saint, half whore.
Woody: Let's hope I get the half that eats.
More later......
At the start of 2008 I completed in a very short time a film script THE LEGEND OF IRON MAIDEN (it's terrible) and two mocumentaries. I also started on two other feature scripts MAN OF THE PEOPLE and NED KELLY AND THE BUSH RANGERS ELITE. Then I began a new job and the writing stopped.
I also had an idea of a sex based comedy like Woody Allen's SEX (1971) and THE NAKED BUNYIP (AUSTRALIA 1971)
Cut to the chase. I'm writing NED KELLY and SEX OVER AUSTRALIA now. Anyway they are very different to each other and lots of fun and it's good to be writing.
In "SEX" I'm writing a five minute sketch called CARRY ON BONDI the point is it's a bawdy silly sketch in the "CARRY ON" style. It's not a Benny Hill type sketch. A number of times I've written jokes on the Benny Hill style ans said to myself "Wrong style ". If you think this is pedantic you are right, it's got to be. This is not to dismiss Benny Hill, he is one of my ten favourite comedy people. In fact his work is far superior to "CARRY ON" stuff.
It's not that it wouldn't work it's just that if I write a "CARRY ON" sketch I'd like to get it right. Comprehende'.
That's the thing with comedy , there's lots of approaches and styles and most often when you mix them up too much it doesn't work. Like everything else in life really. The best comedy is that which knows what it is and where it's place is.
BENNY HILL STYLE
Man: Who are you sir.
Benny: I'm Long John Silver. ( smiles and winks) Well that's what my friends call me.
CARRY ON STYLE ( more campy)
Man: Who are you sir?
Sid: I'm Long John Silver.
Man Oooh I bet you are , now move right along. Long John, what a cheeky devil.
PEDANTIC Yes
"CARRY ON" bleed lines for all they're worth. Benny just through it out there and smiled.