CHOPPER READ and me.
So Chopper read was performing at the Runcorn Tavern and my comedian mates mark Arabin Motormouth and Mike Shanahan were his supports so they asked me if I wanted to come along.
Of course.
The first strange thing that happened was when we got there they were saying that we had to catch up with Chopper's manager a guy called Thommo. "You know Thommo Mick, Thommo".
So I'm thinking how the fuck would I know Chopper read's manager Thommo. So anyway Thommo appears and I go "Gooday Thommo, how are you going"? You see I see Thommo every day, he works no more than 50 metres from me. He runs a second hand shop in the Gabba. Crazy. I run a legit massage shop in the Gabba which is even more crazy.
So the next thing is we are going to the Green Room or as I would call it a room out the back. The boys the tell me that I have to tell Chopper a joke to make him laugh as no one can ever make him laugh. I thought "Thanks blokes".
But you know that's what I' about. So I went through the files of jokes which I have in my head and was doing a profile of Chopper at the same time. Underworld figure dealing with all types .
So the joke I did was two Muslims arriving in Australia. Yep basically a racist joke but then not.
So I do the joke and Chopper laughs repeating the punchline. The boys are going that's fucking amazing.
Suddenly everyone disappears and there were like ten people in the room and I'm left with Chopper.
So I'm thinking what can I say to this guy and I went No. No No. and then I came out with this.
So Chopper, what do you do when you're not doing this?
And he says I'm a painter and he talked to me about his art for a few minutes until some criminal came in to talk crime. (Again)
The next thing is I went outside and I was looking for Thommo for some reason, Thommo was not only his manager but his driver. So in amongst all the noise I've said something like "I'm looking for Chopper's driver" But they heard "I'm Chopper's driver'. and for the rest of the night every time I approached a door security would go "Out of the way people Chopper's driver's coming through".
I'm thinking this is fucking cool.
( by the way as an aside , I'm watching the show and thought you'd want be a an undercover cop here because every question and comment from the audience is from a criminal wanting discuss crimes they've been in).
So a few weeks later I my mates come and see me . Chopper is touring outback Queensland for a few weeks and would be happy if I was one of the support acts. Like the Sit Down Comedy Club never paid me because I never demanded or asked for any money but these guys have said to Chopper I'd kill and I'd be getting big money for three weeks.
My boss at the time would never give the time off and was looking for anything to get rid of me and everyone else for that matter. Serious issues this person. She got rid of me 3 months later over a concocted bullshit story anyway. (As she did with others)
So not going on the Chopper tour is one of my regrets.
