THE SHANAHAN & STEEL (SKETCH ) SHOW

THE SHANAHAN AND STEEL ( SKETCH) SHOW

A few years ago I went through that ridiculous and ultimately humiliating process of sending a script to ABC TV as a possible series.

The verdict was not NO.

I didn't send them a an outline or a sketch. I sent them the whole series. Six half hour episodes with seven sketches of varying length per episode.

I asked them why and one of the reasons was who's my demographic. I'm sure I had put this in submission. From 7 to 70 that's my demographic, there's but in reality it's adult comedy for kids. In the tradition of Monty Python, The Two Ronnies, Benny Hill and the Goodies sketch comedy is adult comedy for kids.

 I said to Mike, they have to take notice , there's 42 major fucking sketches and it's mainly off the wall stuff. There were no TV show send ups.

Anyway this is one the few times I got angry because sketch comedy is just about dead and especially in Australia because they have too many writers and too many performers. It's got no fucking pulse that's for sure.

MARK CHOPPER READ and me ( a true story)

CHOPPER READ and me.

So Chopper read was performing at the Runcorn Tavern and my comedian mates mark Arabin  Motormouth and Mike Shanahan were his supports so they asked me if I wanted to come along.

Of course.

The first strange thing that happened was when we got there they were saying that we had to catch up with Chopper's manager a guy called Thommo. "You know Thommo Mick, Thommo".

So I'm thinking how the fuck would I know Chopper read's manager Thommo. So anyway Thommo appears and I go "Gooday Thommo, how are you going"? You see I see Thommo every day, he works no more than 50 metres from me. He runs a second hand shop in the Gabba. Crazy. I run a legit massage shop in the Gabba which is even more crazy.

So the next thing is we are going to the Green Room or as I would call it a room out the back. The boys the tell me that I have to tell Chopper a joke to make him laugh as no one can ever make him laugh. I thought "Thanks blokes".

But you know that's what I' about. So I went through the files of jokes which I have in my head and was doing a profile of  Chopper at the same time. Underworld figure dealing with all types .

So the joke I did was two Muslims arriving in Australia. Yep basically a racist joke but then not. 

So I do the joke and Chopper laughs repeating the punchline. The boys are going that's fucking amazing.

Suddenly everyone disappears and there were like ten people in the room and I'm left with Chopper. 

So I'm thinking what can I say to this guy and I went No. No No. and then I came out with this.

So Chopper, what do you do when you're not doing this?

And he says  I'm a  painter and he talked to me about his art for a few minutes until some criminal came in to talk crime. (Again)

The next thing is I went outside and I was looking for Thommo for some reason, Thommo was not only his manager but his driver. So in amongst all the noise I've said something like "I'm looking for Chopper's driver" But they heard "I'm Chopper's driver'. and for the rest of the night every time I approached a door  security would go "Out of the way people Chopper's driver's coming through".

I'm thinking this is fucking cool.

( by the way as an aside , I'm watching the show and thought you'd want be a an undercover cop here because every question and comment  from the audience is from a criminal wanting discuss crimes they've been in).

So a few weeks later I my mates come and see me . Chopper is touring outback Queensland for a few weeks and would be happy if I was one of the support acts. Like  the Sit Down Comedy Club never paid me because I never demanded or asked for any money but these guys have said to Chopper I'd  kill and I'd be getting big money for three weeks.

My boss at the time would never give the time off and was looking for anything to get rid of me and everyone else for that matter. Serious issues this person. She got rid of me 3 months later over a concocted bullshit story anyway. (As she did with others)

So not going on the Chopper tour is one of my regrets.

 

 

THE CLONE: A comedy idea

 THE CLONE

There have been very few films about clones or cloning.It's such a great topic that it staggers me. However I haven't had enough interest at the right time to write a clone script.

My clone script would be pretty simple. There are a number of scenarios. they all involve a mad doctor.

1 A bad guy who is having an affair goes to his doctor.   A mad doctor and they discuss personal problems. The doctor says  his answer is t o have himself cloned, and the clone can live with his wife and he can then run off with the other woman.

2 A good guy with a terrible bitch for a wife goes to his doctor , a mad doctor who suggests cloning so he can go away and the poor clone gets stuck with the bitch of a wife.

3 A woman goes to her doctor , once again a mad doctor and after hearing her problems he suggests cloning. The woman runs off to paradise and the husband is left with the clone who is a terrible bitch.

BILL HUNTER

Bill Hunter

Sad the passing of Bill, and I was great fan like most people. My first memories of him were in HOMICIDE and whenever he appeared I thought this bloke is the murderer, but that's just a memory he may have not always been. But he was rarely a good guy.
 

Between Homicide,  Divvy 4 and Matlock Police I think he may have multiple life sentences.
Personally, it would have been great if he had a "Columbo" type television  role that we could all remember him for because in most cases we remember his supporting roles except for NEWSFRONT.
 

My personal favourite was as Angus McDonald in BLUE MURDER and a guest role as a character called 'Tiny' in PHOENIX but these are also my two favourite Australian shows ever. ( With JANUS)

It's great that he is being remembered so fondly but for me I feel the Australian Film industry would have been much better served if he was  the lead role in more Australian films.

IT'S BRISBANE TONIGHT WOW ( finished product)

 

 IT"S BRISBANE TONITE WOW! Finished product

We have finally got to see the finished product of  IT'S BRISBANE TONIGHT WOW. Scot has even changed the title from TONITE to TONIGHT because that was correct English.

The positives I thought are that Scot didn't do anything wrong with his directing. I pointed out that he could have done a certain scene a certain way and he said that I should have told him. I said "You're the director".

The cast however were really good,. I thought this collection of (wannabee) actors gave everything to their parts. One may have over acted a bit but everyone else just nailed it and I am really proud of what they did. 

As for me, I found it painful watching myself and that's about it.

The film however stinks and can never be released. The sound is terrible. It's unwatchable.

END OF STORY

1001 FILMS TO SEE BEFORE YOU DIE ( A Book)

 1001 Films To See Before You Die

I just bought this book written a few years ago. It's a great book but to me more notable for it omissions than some of the entries.

Not enough British films of the sixties. The Pumpkin Eater, Billy Liar, Look Back In Anger, This Sporting Life, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold  are missing and many others from this era. lie How can you leave any of these out.
 

The two great Rock Hudson and Doris day comedies Pillow talk and Lover Come Back didn't make the list. Pillow talk is the only comedy aside from Annie hall to win a best screenplay oscar.

There are some unusually ordinary films of the past twenty years there like The English Patient which Bruce Beresford described as like a three hour soap advertisement. As well as When Harry Met Sally, Top Gun and Philadelphia made it.
 
Paul Newman made it for Hombre but not for The Verdict. (Seriously) 

 

Among my other favourite films which are missing are  The World According to Garp, Woody Allen's Bananas, two William Holden films Stalag 17 and Picnic, and from Australia no Bruce Beresford films  Really. Moneymovers, The Club, Don's Party. These are films people should see.

BEING A PROLIFIC WRITER

Yes  I'm prolific. Of course prolific doesn't mean great or even good it could mean shit house. 

"And here is Mick Steel the most prolific shithouse comedy writer of the 21st century.

Sounds Ok.

 One of my favourite lines in SEINFELD is when Kramer describes Frank Costanza ( George's Father) as "Prolific'. "He's prolific" yep a prolific idiot and maybe that's what I am.

Anyway comedy writing is what I do   and I continue to do it because there's nothing else I can do. So I started off writing sketches, the the comedy monologues then TV scripts then the film scripts and it just steamrolls. Being unpaid and basically uncredited well that's my curse.

Woody Allen, Neil Simon, John Hughes all wrote about one  script a year from the age of 35. I am on a par with them. Not making a comparison in ability, but I have a variety of ideas.

 400  comedy sketches of 15 seconds to 7 minutes which puts me in the Benny Hill bracket of prolific.

SITCOM I've created 3 pilots and written episodes

STAND UP  3-4 hours of stand up material. Performed about 90 minutes of that.

I take an element of pride in this, it's like saying I played football, cricket tennis and golf all of which  I did at the lowest level.

Of course I have no other talents, I can't fix a leaking tap.