IMMEDIATE FUTURE

 

 

With the advent of  IT'S BRISBANE TONIGHT WOW there is the possibility of becoming a success. As an undiscovered talent who writes in almost every genre I have not been a success. In fact I have been as the academics would describe, a failure.  But let's quantify this,  the one thing I have not failed at is at been a failure, no sir, in fact the one thing I have been very successful at is failing,  I may not be a success at succeeding but at failing I am a success. And I can sleep with that.well sometimes I can't sleep with it because sometimes I fail to sleep. Because for a long time people called me a failure as if it was a negative thing, but now , I have reached the maturity and the positivity  to realize that my greatest success in life is my ability to fail.

 Having bouts depression all my adult has helped me deal with failure.

ROBIN WILLIAMS LIVE! and my thoughts

 ROBIN WILLIAMS LIVE

My sister Robyn was generous enough to buy me two tickets to see Robin Williams for my birthday.

It wasn't on my agenda because there's no way I could afford to see him but it was much appreciated. I took film maker mate Scot McPhie with me and after the show shook the hand and had a few seconds with Robin. We also had very good seats.

I view Robin as a stand up comedian, an improv comedian, a sitcom comedian, film actor and a great guest on talk shows. 

Here's the thing. Prior to my sister buying the tickets I really had no interest in seeing him LIVE but I'm glad I went for many reasons.

1 He was great and it was a great show.

2 I met him for Christ's sake.

3 And this is the doozy. When I watch the great stand ups I have this thing in which I dissect everything they say, how they say it and how they form the routines to make the one hour of 3 hour show. With everyone I've seen there comes a point usually after about 45 minutes where I go "So what's he's doing or that's how he does it'. At about this point of the show I said to Scot "I've got no idea what he's doing, everything is just fucking random" but about 15 minutes later something happened. Robin forgot his lines or where he was. He walked over to the side of the stage and there was a woman with a computer. He said to her "Where am I?" or words to that effect and she told him where he what piece he was doing.

He looked at the audience and shrugged. The audience didn't mind nor care.

That made sense to me. He just does bits that are in an order, but an order that is planned and scripted in a way as not to look planned and scripted or in any order. From that point on I just really enjoyed the show.

As a stand up I don't see him in the league of Louis C.K or Garry Shandling he's more of a showman comedian doing crazy songs and voices in the mix.

For many years my favourite film was THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP. Considered a mess at the time it's now regarded as a genuine classic. I consider Robin to be a great actor in the company of Jack Nicholson and Brando even. He's hardly done a real comedy film except THE BIRDCAGE  which is one the very best comedy films of all time. However his PATCH ADAMS type feel good , sentimental films make me sick.

*footnote. Since his death I cannot watch The World According To Garp.

Some comedy writing thoughts.

 

As a kid I wanted to be a comedy writer. Basically as a kid  born in 1960 I was brought up on sketch comedy and TV situation comedies. TV situation comedies include all the comedies we watched between 4pm and 6pm every afternoon.

 I sometimes think I'm a phony calling myself a comedy writer , but I've performed my own material live, I've now written a film which is nearly ready for release, so it's time to accept that I am a comedy writer and always have been.

The most important thing is I want to write good comedy and I do write good comedy. But what does that mean? I don't write tit and bum and arse crack comedy and have a proliferation of insult jokes. But then we all do to some degree, but if you do that stuff you do it with a twist.

To use what we know as examples.

                          Good                                           Bad
Film                    American Pie                                American Pie 2

Sitcom                Modern Family                             Married with Children

Sketch                Alas Smith and Jones                    Hale and Pace

Stand Up             Dry                                              Wet


There's great comedy and awful comedy. No one goes around saying I write awful comedy  but plenty do it and some get paid great money for it.


It's unlikely that that Talbot Rothwell who wrote 19 Carry On movies could write a Will Ferrell  style movie. But to be more precise Woody Allen ( Jewish), Neil Simon (Jewish) and Mel Brooks (Jewish)  all started their careers on Sid Caesars  CAESAR'S HOUR  and all have very individual styles of writing. If all three were interviewed or approached about their writing they would be all quick to point out the subtleties and differences in their style.The reality is all three attract very different audiences.

My preference is for Woody Allen but Mel Brooks and Neil Simon movies have a far more wider appeal.  Mel Brooks appeals to the younger because he mainly does spoofs and Neil Simon writes romantic comedies.( with some very unappealing protagonists at times). This means his lesser efforts really flop and he doesn't have the strong core following of Woody or Mel.  Of course his successes usually are big.

But all have one thing in common and that is they are mainstream.  A Woody Allen film has a low budget by American standards of 20 million dollars. So to me he is still mainstream.
The problem with all of these great writers is that after 10-15 films there eventually becomes a sameness in their style.

I'm lucky that I've been in a position to watch and to most of all chosen to learn many styles so I have my own style but if I want to write something in a Monty Python, Zucker or Jewish I can put myself in the mind set and the planning to do it.

Anyway, I like to see myself as starting in the middle ground with an idea and then taking it to extremes if I choose. But I have chosen what my middle ground is and that's an interesting place.

There's many arguments about high brow low brow etc but this is my best example. It's from Woody Allen's LOVE AND DEATH.  So many other writers  would have just gone for a more obvious punchline.

Girl:           I'm half saint, half whore.

Woody:     Let's hope I get the half that eats.



More later......

A LIST OF COMPLETED FILM SCRIPTS

COMPLETED SCRIPTS

One thing I really learnt in the making of IT'S BRISBANE TONIGHT WOW! is that there is no such thing as a completed script. Meaning that for for a variety of reasons there could and should always be changes during the making of a project.

All of my scripts have a 20 page build up before they get into the crux of the story. In those 20 pages I introduce you to the protagonist and usually a funny/quirky  incident that gets you onside with the main character have some lead up character building scenes. Whether this is correct or not is irrelevant, it's just something I do.

It's not uncommon. The first half hour  of PSYCHO was about Janet Leigh escaping from her dull life having just stolen from the bank she worked in. That was the story line.

In writing THE LAST NIGHT OF THE FILTH the first scene I wrote was set in the middle of the script. It was a piece of dialogue  seven pages long which established a group of characters. In the current final draft that scene has been chopped to two lines. But it was necessary for me as a starting point. For a long time I thought it was great but once the script was completed I saw that it bogged the story down. The toughest thing about writing is not to be too precious with your stuff.



LOVE ON THE ROCKS   Written in 1983. This script I threw out many years ago. Later readings of this were painful and yet upon completion I thought I'd written something very good. It was contrived and boring. However I retrieved 15 funny pages which was to become TWO CUT SNAKES.


THE VAMPYRE - WITH BLOOD AND ROSES
MY STREET KID
LAST NIGHT OF THE FILTH
AFTER DEATH
WHEN BUSHPIGS COLLIDE
KILL VICTOR GOLD
TWO CUT SNAKES
MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK                   ( to be retitled)
BRISBANE MADANIC
IT'S BRISBANE TONIGHT WOW!
GET SMART
WEEKEND OF MADNESS                   ( to be retitled)
OPEN MIKE                                       (DRAMA)
THE LEGEND OF IRON MAIDEN

GET SMART
In 2004 there was an ad on IMDB for writers too write a screenplay for a film version of 60's  TV classic  GET SMART.

Being the single most important influence of my life I got to work on a possible story and wrote the script in two weeks. I sent it off to Hollywood and strangely I had the script returned saying they were not reading unsolicited scripts.

My cousin Ray Ford wanted in the script so it's co-written.  I developed the story and Ray acted as a story editor with an input of ideas.

I based my writing on the script along the 5th season episodes which were written by Arne Sultan , Chris Hayward, Allan Burns and Leonard Stern. This was important to me. However Ray's input was effective because he wrote from the Mel Brooks angle and the writers of the earlier series, like Mike Marmer, Stan Burns, Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso.    

And if you think this writing thing is as a wank, you are probably right, but there's a big difference in those two styles and when you do something like this it's important to know. I guess it's like when you listen to some guy who knows whis music and you go "Yer, whatever'. But he knows his stuff.

As far as GET SMART goes, well I know my my stuff,

My GET SMART script is probably what I am most proud of. I did it justice.

INCOMPLETE SCRIPTS

NED KELLY AND THE BUSHRANGERS ELITE
CASTAWAYS
AUSTRALIA IN THE DARK- SEX OVER AUSTRALIA
THE SYNDICATE
TERMINALLY YOURS
KAKADU KATE
PONDEROSA                          Message: Don't F%$K with the Cartwrights
A DESOLATE PATH                 (PSYCHO THRILLER)

WRITING 2011

At the start of 2008  I completed in a very short time a film script THE LEGEND OF IRON MAIDEN  (it's terrible)  and two mocumentaries. I also started on two other feature scripts  MAN OF THE PEOPLE and NED KELLY AND THE BUSH RANGERS ELITE. Then I began a new job and the writing stopped.

I also had an idea of a sex based comedy like Woody Allen's SEX (1971) and THE NAKED BUNYIP (AUSTRALIA 1971)

Cut to the chase. I'm writing NED KELLY and SEX OVER AUSTRALIA now. Anyway they are very different to each other and lots of fun and it's good to be writing.

In "SEX" I'm writing a five minute sketch called CARRY ON BONDI the point is it's a bawdy silly  sketch in the "CARRY ON" style. It's not a Benny Hill type sketch. A number of times I've written jokes on the Benny Hill style ans said to myself "Wrong style ". If you think this is pedantic you are right, it's got to be.  This is not to dismiss Benny Hill, he  is one of my ten favourite comedy people. In fact his work is far superior to "CARRY ON" stuff.
It's not that it wouldn't work it's just that if I write a "CARRY ON" sketch I'd like to get it right. Comprehende'.

That's the thing with comedy , there's lots of approaches and styles and most often when you mix them  up too much it doesn't work. Like everything else in life really. The best comedy is that which knows what it is and where it's place is.

BENNY HILL STYLE

Man:     Who are you sir.

Benny:   I'm Long John Silver. ( smiles and winks) Well that's what my friends call me.

CARRY ON STYLE ( more campy)

Man:      Who are you sir?

Sid:        I'm Long John Silver.

Man       Oooh I bet you are , now move right along. Long John, what a cheeky devil.


PEDANTIC Yes

"CARRY ON" bleed lines for all they're worth. Benny just through it out there and smiled.

Could IT'S BRISBANE TONITE WOW be a success

 

Well it could if the sound issues aren't a big as i thought they could be.

 

Why do I do all this? Am I asking you or me? Me. Actually I'm not really good at anything else but writing comedy. I've been doing it since grade 3. And I have no other ambition. I have no desire to be anyone's boss.

It's a sad fact that I've spent most of my life being very ordinary at most things. Of course I was good at most sports at a B or C grade level and that took up my weekends until I was 35.

 Of course I'm slightly intelligent and can hold a conversation at a public bar but that doesn't pay the bills. Actually for a lot of people it does pay the bills. Why doesn't it pay my bills.
 

But IT'S BRISBANE TONIGHT WOW!  which may change that an allow me to do the one thing I do well. Write Comedy.

When I was a younger man I held onto this dream and in the process did  menial jobs and experiences. If I had my life over again I would do every possible experience that came my way . Even now I still remember working at places like the ice works for a day and at this chemical plant because the usual employees refused to offload this chemical because it was too dangerous. ( They didn't tell us that before we went there)  I wouldn't want to do it for more than  a day but it was an experience even if a menial one. One day at any of these places is a gold mine of comedy material and it's so much better to know what you might be writing about than to make up some contrived situation.   

Now I'm just doing any job that comes along. ( badly)

I want to write more comedy this year. My theories need to be exercised or exorcised depending on your point of view.

(Theory) A comedy story is a series of things going wrong until the last scene.

THE STOLEN SKETCHES

The Stolen Sketches.

 Well of course I lose sleep over this., I could be living at Malibu right now.

In the early 90's  I sent buy snail mail sketches to each of the major sketch shows in Melbourne. I'd been waiting all my life for these shows to happen and when they did I thought with my years of material sitting dormant I would be finally in the door.

 So I'd send off the sketch, hear nothing and the a few months later I see the sketch on TV.

For the writer who went to the TV station mailbox it was just another credit and maybe a paycheck. I never blamed the producers because it was in their interest to contact me.

For the record nothing was stolen by THE LATE SHOW team. 

If only one of those show credited  me for one of those sketches things could be very different now.